Hello, my beautiful people, I greet you all in the name of Jesus today!
I stopped writing for more than two months. The reason why I stopped writing was that I felt like I wasn’t worthy enough. I know it’s a very bold statement to make because of course that just isn’t true for we are not called to live in shame and guilt. But even though I know this…it is what I have been honestly struggling with for the past month or two.
I remember when the thoughts first came and surfaced over and over and over again. It’s like I couldn’t shake the shame, guilt, and unworthiness off of me. I’ve been battling it for weeks it seems. The enemy against our soul’s satan himself, the father of all lies tried to implant a seed of unrighteousness in me, a seed of doubt, a seed I felt I couldn’t shake off of me.
You see as a mom of a -three-year-old and an 11-month-old, I tend to lose my patience a wholeeeee lot. I tend to yell, or say things I don’t mean all the time! Thank you Jesus for his grace and precious, precious mercy towards you and me. I felt like I would accept God’s grace and forgiveness to a certain extent but not fully. As shortly after I would feel shame, guilt, and just an unworthy feeling shortly after repenting.
I truly believe and know when we are down as individuals in whatever situation we are going through, the devil rejoices and desires to kick us while we are down to keep us there as long as possible, if not forever.
In this low state of mine those thoughts of myself started to become my reality I started to believe it when I heard thoughts like:
“What’s the point of writing this blog if you just finished yelling?” “Your such a hypocrite how can you write when you just finished yelling and sinning?” “Just give up you are not cut out for this someone is already doing it better” so on and so forth.
But the precious word of God says in:
Psalm 103:10-12 (NKJV)
10 He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor punished us according to our iniquities.
11 For as the heavens are high above the earth,
So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him;
12 As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 130:3-4 (NIV)
3 If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
Lord, who could stand?
4 But with you there is forgiveness,
so that we can, with reverence, serve you.
Isaiah 1:18 (NIV)
18 “Come now, let us settle the matter,”
says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.
When I look at this verse in Isaiah 1:18 It’s like the Lord himself told me “Hey you know what? Let us settle this right now. I will wash you I will cleanse but my precious daughter my precious son you must come before me first so I The Lord of Hosts can wash and cleanse you. You cannot do it on your own!!! or in your own strength!!
Wow! That is so so so freeing to me. Because I mess up daily, every day I sin. Some days more than others. But thank God for his forgiveness and grace towards you and me!
So, I want to ask you a question today:
What are you struggling with today that you have not taken to Jesus yet?
Is it Guilt and Shame like me? or is it anger, doubt, or fear?
There are lots of things that hold us bound daily that sometimes we have no idea we are carrying and other times we know we are carrying but have been avoiding to take it to Jesus.
I invite you to please surrender it today to him. He is your maker, your creator, and wants to be your best friend in your life.
I cannot say that I have figured it all out I still struggle, like we all do but I am learning in my walk with God to reset with him, to give that burden to him. Like a child that needs help from their Mother and Father, I cannot carry this on my own!!
Leave it before his thrown today, you will never regret doing so.
Lord Jesus, I come before you in prayer today that you touch every single individual reading this. Reveal to them the great things and also the small things they looked over that they have yet to surrender to you. Touch the innermost part of their hearts, speak to them and let them be forever, forever changed. In Jesus Christ’s mighty name. I pray and I pray amen and amen.